Learn the six most common Alzheimer’s caregiving mistakes and how to replace them with strategies that build trust and peace.
No one prepares you for the moment when the person you’ve always known starts to change in ways you can’t predict. You do what feels right: you follow your instincts, skim a few articles, and promise yourself you’ll stay calm and patient. But even with the best intentions, Alzheimer’s caregiving mistakes happen. One approach works beautifully on Monday and falls flat by Tuesday.
The good news? You can make the days feel lighter and more connected by making just a few shifts. It starts with knowing which habits to break.
1. Trying to “win” with logic
When confusion sets in, your first instinct might be to explain: “We already had lunch,” or “That never happened.” It’s a natural response—we want to correct what’s untrue. But Alzheimer’s changes how the brain processes reality. To the person living with the disease, their perception feels real, and pushing back with logic often creates more stress for both of you.
Try this instead: Step into their version of the story. If they’re worried about catching a train that stopped running years ago, you can talk about where they’re headed, who they’ll see, or what the ride might be like. Meeting them where they are keeps the connection intact.
2. Correcting every detail
They may call you by the wrong name, mix up the date, or be convinced it’s Sunday when it’s Thursday. You might want to help keep them “oriented,” but constant corrections can feel like nitpicking—and can leave them frustrated or embarrassed.
Try this instead: Focus on how they’re feeling, not whether they’re factually accurate. If the memory is off but brings comfort or joy, let it stand. The emotional bond matters more than the specifics.
3. Giving too many steps at once
Even simple activities—getting ready to go outside, making tea, washing up—can feel overwhelming if too many instructions are given in one breath. “Grab your shoes, put on your jacket, and meet me at the front door” may sound like a jumble.
Try this instead: Break things down. Give one short direction at a time, wait until it’s completed, then give the next. Keep your tone calm, your pace steady, and give plenty of space for them to process.
4. Taking the changes personally
Sometimes you’ll be met with anger, suspicion, or emotional distance. It’s deeply painful—especially when you’ve shared years of closeness. But these changes aren’t about you; they’re a reflection of a brain under pressure.
Try this instead: Remember that the essence of the person you love is still there, even if their ability to show it has changed. Your presence still matters, whether they can express it or not.
5. Talking around them instead of to them
When communication slows, it’s easy to fall into the habit of answering questions on their behalf or speaking to others as though they’re not in the room. But even if words are harder to find, they can still sense your respect—or lack of it.
Try this instead: Make eye contact. Speak directly to them. Ask questions they can answer simply, and wait patiently for their reply. Inclusion matters, even if their verbal responses are brief or delayed.
6. Forgetting your own needs
Dementia care can turn into a full-time sprint. You check off the tasks, handle the unexpected, and keep pushing forward—until you’re running on fumes. Over time, the exhaustion affects your health, your mood, and your ability to be present.
Try this instead: Build in breaks before you burn out. Ask for help early, even if it’s just for a few hours a week. Explore respite care or in-home support so you can rest, recharge, and return with more energy for the moments that matter most.
There’s No Perfect Formula
Some days will bring smiles and small victories. Others will stretch your patience thin. That’s part of Alzheimer’s care—it’s a journey built on trial and error, flexibility, and love that adapts to changing circumstances.
You don’t have to get it right every time. What matters most is that you keep showing up with kindness—for the person in your care and for yourself.
When You’re Ready for Backup, We’re Here
At Advanced Home Health Care, we provide specialized dementia care that brings more peace to the day—for both the person living with the disease and the family members supporting them. Our dementia care team is trained to find creative solutions for the challenges you’re facing, while giving you the breathing space you need.
We’re serving families throughout Burlington, Keokuk, Fort Madison, and throughout Southeast Iowa, and we’d be honored to walk this path with you. Call us at 800.791.7785 to discover the support and relief you’ve been looking for.
