When we were young, we figured out how to share toys and games as well as the attention of our parents. Those same feelings likely carry with us well into the adult years. As nice as it is to have brothers and sisters, there also are times it can bring about heightened stress levels, such as when meeting care needs at home for aging parents. While loving each other and taking into account your siblings’ feelings was ingrained in you at an early age, some degree of sibling rivalry might continue to be an issue when making hard decisions and making an attempt to fairly share home health care needs for aging parents.
Gregory French, president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, reveals that, “What a family member considers ‘fair’ is very much dictated from that family member’s perspective…there’s a lot of family baggage that comes out, like: ‘Mom paid for your MBA, and she didn’t do that for me.’”
These ideas, courtesy of the in-home care professionals at Advanced Home Health Care, can help family members find common ground and discover the most reasonable division of care for their loved one:
- Consult with a mediator. Meeting together with a trusted third party professional, like a lawyer, financial planner or in-home care provider such as Advanced Home Health Care, can make a difference in keeping the discussion on track and working towards the ideal resolution.
- Weigh the difference between hands-on caregiving vs. financial support. Dividing up caregiving duties equally should include a dialogue about how much time each sibling can invest in supplying home care help, along with how much financial assistance can be provided. For instance, a sibling who lives close to the parent could be able to handle more in-person care but less financial assistance, while another sibling who resides in another state could offer more financial support and less in-person care.
- Record the discussion. Ensuring everything discussed is recorded assures that everyone is on the same page, and offers the possibility to go back and take another look at what was agreed upon at a later time if a disagreement should develop.
The most important thing to bear in mind when dealing with siblings and elderly parents’ care needs is to agree to set aside previous childhood dynamics in an attempt to come together to provide the highest quality of care possible.
Advanced Home Health Care, leading provider of senior care in Fort Madison and the surrounding areas, is readily available to partner with you in your journey in caring for aging parents. Our experienced staff can provide you with the senior care resources you need to help you make the best care decisions for your loved ones, as well as in-home respite care services to help you get the rest you need. Our caregivers will make sure your family always has access to the very best care. Contact us online or call us at 800.791.7785 to find out more about how we can help your family. To learn more about all of the areas we serve in Iowa, please visit our service area page.